COUGAR MANIFESTO
COUGAR MANIFESTO |
|
|
C o u g a r :
|
||
|
The largest North American cat, top of the food chain with Grizzly Bears, carnivorous solitary hunter, aka Mountain Lion, Puma.
Also describes women in their forties who smoke, drink and go to clubs to pick up young men in their twenties. Cougars are usually divorced, sometimes with cubs, and financially independent. The most successful cougars are those that married well and got huge divorce settlements. Lesser Cougars were feminists who clawed their way to the top and made their own money. They have charge cards and big bank accounts, often living off second mortgages and money lending. They own cars but use them sparingly because of their concern for the environment. Species characteristics include a penchant for home decorating, an interest in dogs (the only other species they can live with), an avid consumption of home products such as tinfoil and Cheez Whiz, and a limited interest in technology. They have a high fat diet but are usually in shape because of sheer genetics and extensive shopping, dinner party planning and traveling. They often wear clothes that they're a bit too old for such as Spandex and high heels. They dye their hair and wear lots of makeup and jewelry. Cougars-in-training (ie.
women in their thirties) are called "pumas". Women
in their twenties are "cougar cubs".
to more Cougar Pouncing | ||
